Fish Tales
by Blu Taiger
Summary: Pseudo-songfic. While on vacation, Calvin shares a local legend with his children.


It was a beautiful day on the New England shoreline. The sun was shining radiantly, bidding all around to bask in it's golden light. Sunlight sparkled off the cascading waves as they eagerly lapped up to the shore. Overhead, the gulls were flying merrily and the dune grass swayed gently in the soft breeze.

Inside a quaint little beach house, two pairs of eyes watched the scene in rapturous wonder. The little boy turned to his sister. "It's really pretty out there, isn't it?" he asked.

The girl nodded. "I wish mommy would get home; then we could go out and play!"

"Well, what's to keep us from playing right now?" the boy said with a mischievous grin.

The girl looked at her brother with wide eyes. "Ryan, daddy said - "

"Oh, don't be such a worry-wart, Shannon!" the boy rebuked. "We're not gonna do anything bad, just have a bit of fun, that's all. _Last one out's a rotten egg!_"

And before Shannon could blink, her brother had made a mad dash to the cabin door. "RYAN!" she cried, hurriedly running after him.

When the two were outside, they romped about the shore, laughing heartily as they frolliced in the warm sunshine. Soon, they had run until they simply couldn't run anymore. They sat themselves down on the beach and watched the waves rolling in.

"I wonder if we could find some buried treasure." Ryan thought aloud.

Shannon looked at her younger brother. "Do you _really_ think this place was a hot spot for pirates?"

Ryan shrugged. "Daddy said so. And why would he lie about something like that?"

Shannon couldn't come up with an argument for that. She turned her gaze back to the water in quiet contemplation. "Suppose there were buried treasure here, where would you look for it?"

"I dunno." Ryan conceded. "Maybe on that island, over there!" he pointed to a small piece of land poking out of the sea off in the distance.

"Yeah!" Shannon agreed when she saw it. "If I were a pirate, that's totally where I'd bury my treasure!"

"C'mon, let's check it out! Betcha I can get there before you!" Ryan charged toward the shore with exuberance.

"Nuh-UH!" Shannon replied as she took off after him. "Just you wait, I'll show you!"

They ran toward the waiting shore, both determined to show up their sibling. They pushed themselves faster, running with all their might down the shore and into the lapping waves.

"_WHAT do you kids think you're doing?!_"

Both children stopped dead in their tracks. turning around in the churning surf, they saw their father, Calvin, marching toward them wearing a stern, reprimanding expression.

"_Nothing, daddy!_" Shannon replied, putting on her best innocent look.

Calvin's expression remained unchanged. The children never were able to fool their dad when they did something they weren't supposed to.

"Really?" Calvin asked, dryly. "'Cause it looks like you two were about to plunge straight into the sea!"

Knowing they were caught, and knowing it would be worse for them if they tried weasel out of it, Ryan looked plaintively at his father. "Are we in trouble?" he asked in a voice that threatened to tear up.

Seeing his son's countenance, Calvin let his face soften. He gestured for the children to come closer. He bent down, so he could look each of them face to face. "Understand, kids, you shouldn't _ever_ go into the water without a grown up nearby!"

"Why?" Shannon asked.

"Because you could get hurt."

"Why?"

"Because there are things in the water that could hurt you!"

"Like what?"

Calvin had to take a long, steadying breath. "Like… sharks and crabs and currents and stingrays and jellyfish and, and…" sensing that his words weren't fully sinking in, Calvin paused for a moment when a thought struck him. "And, of course, there's _the beast._"

That did the trick.

"_Beast?_... What beast?" Shannon's voice quivered as she and her brother gaped at their father with rapt attention.

Calvin looked bemused. "You don't know? You mean you've never heard of _the Beast of Pirate's Bay?_!"

"No!" said Ryan in hushed awe. "What is it?"

"Alright kids, gather in close. And listen carefully, 'cause what I'm about to tell you _might_ just save your lives!" When he had their undivided attention, he began spinning his yarn.

"A long, long time ago, the coast here was a hotbed for piracy."

"We know, daddy!" Ryan interrupted. "You told us! The most ruthless buccaneers to sail the sea came here for… deb, debbie…"

"Debauchery!" Calvin provided. "And that's right. For many, many years, cutthroats and scoundrels came from all over to indulge in…" he glanced at his children staring at him with gaping eyes. "... in _stuff_ you'll learn about when you're older!

"_BUT_, that all changed one dark, stormy day - the day _he_ appeared."

"The beast." Shannon whispered. "What is it?"

"No one knows for certain. There are some who say he's a guppy, carelessly discarded into the sea where he gorged himself until he grew into a great colossus with teeth as sharp as scissors and claws like knives!

"There are others who claim he's a massive serpent sent straight from the bowels of the underworld to _devour_ the wicked!"

The children leaned forward, soaking in his words. "_Really?_"

"Absolutely. You've heard of Black Beard, haven't you?" They nodded, and Calvin proceeded. "Well _he_ was a formidable and cunning pirate. He raided and plundered with without pity - or mercy. Even the bravest of men would think twice before crossing him… That is, until he saw the beast for himself - and his famous black beard turned _white as a ghost!_" he snapped his fingers sharply for emphasis, the children gasped at the action.

"And Black Beard was one of the lucky ones." Calvin went on. "See, he _survived_ his encounter; but many a man has put to sail in these waters… only to meet with an untimely fate."

"... T,t,they were n,never… seen again?" Ryan's voice trembled as he spoke.

"Well, _occasionally_ they were seen again… at least, _PARTS of them._" The children shuddered when he said this.

"So now you understand why you shouldn't go into the water alone! Don't sail, don't row and _certainly_ don't swim in this bay; 'cause, if you're not careful, _HE'LL EAT YOU UP AND SPIT YOU OUT!_"

The children jumped back with a frightened yelp when he had finished. Nervously, they spared a glance at the lapping water behind them, now wondering with dread what might be concealed beneath the frothing waves.

"Now then, what d'you say we all head back inside?" Calvin extended a hand to each child. They each took the proffered hand quickly and noiselessly followed behind their father as he led them back to the cabin.

* * *

><p>Calvin turned the newspaper page with a satisfied chuckle; nothing like instilling a little fear in your kids to get them to behave. And that whole <em>beast<em> spiel had worked wonders! Amazing how simply recalling a faint and distant memory could inspire something like that.

Years ago, when he had first visited this place, he had stumbled across a weathered, decaying old sign. The sign's writing had faded with the ages, but with a bit of scrutiny, he determined that it had once read '_Beware the Beast of Pirate's Bay'_.

He smirked to himself. To think finding that decrepit, battered piece of junk would actually serve a useful purpose later in life.

The creak of an opening door brought his attention back to the present. He turned to see his wife, Susie, coming through the cabin door with a bag of groceries in her arm.

"Hi, Hun." she smiled brightly when she saw him. She placed her bag on the kitchen table and sauntered over, giving him a light peck on the cheek.

"Have a productive afternoon?" he asked.

She groaned. "It's been really hectic! For such a small town, you wouldn't believe how much traffic there is!" She took a glance out the window at the beach. "Oh my, that water looks heavenly." she sighed.

Calvin peeked at the softly churning surf. "Yeah, I s'pose." he murmured.

Susie's smile intensified. "Say, why don't you put the groceries away, and then we can all go for a family swim?"

So Calvin went to the kitchen while Susie headed up the stairs to the kid's room. Calvin quickly finished his task and , seeing that Susie hadn't come back down yet, returned to his chair and newspaper.

After a few minutes, Calvin felt a weight press down on the back of his chair. Turning, he saw Susie looking at him with a shrewd expression.

"So, I just talked to the kids." she said.

"I bet you did." he replied.

"I asked them if they wanted to go for a swim. Imagine my surprise when they vehemently refused."

"You don't say!"

"I tried to ask them why not, but they were completely hysterical!"

"_Goodness!_"

"Took me at least five minutes to calm them down."

"I'll bet."

"_Apparently_, they're under the impression that there's a _monster_ living in the bay!"

"Imagine _that!_"

"Mmm-_hmmm._" she leaned in close to him. Her voice became soft, but with an undeniable edge to it. "Now, _where_ do you suppose they got an idea like _that_ from?!"

Calvin shrugged and nonchalantly turned a page. "I dunno. Probably something they saw on t.v!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN - Disclaimer:** Just a little story that's been buzzing around my head for a while. It's not _exactly_ a song-fic, however it _was_ inspired by the song "_The Beast of Pirate's Bay"_ by Voltaire.

Anyway, Calvin and Susie are property of Bill Watterson, the song belongs to Voltaire, I only own Shannon and Ryan.


End file.
